Day 1: March 19

Late afternoon/early evening, we are driving to Sacramento, to a house party and to spend the night. The Bluetooth activates and the readout is M's first wife, the mother of our kids. If she is calling, we can predict it's about the kids and it's not good. That is true. She lets us know that our oldest son was brought home by the police that morning. They had found him outside in a local park, very cold and with no shoes on. They recommended taking him to the local emergency room for follow up and that is where he is now. She reports that he was very agitated at the ER, kept trying to leave and they had to put a security guard on his door. His blood tests came up clean and his electrolytes are well balanced. He was given an anti-anxiety medication and is now sleeping for the night and she is on her way to her home. This feels like a very liminal space with no immediate course of action. We decide to go to the house party because all we want to do is be with people who love us. That night I can't really sleep. I feel cold all night and I can't imagine where our son is, tagged to this earth.